puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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