i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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