okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize