Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
