her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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