Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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