he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
