I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
