Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
