Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
