i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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