I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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