I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
