i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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