so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize