i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
