He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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