haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
