Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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