I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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