508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
