I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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