It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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