Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize