Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
