You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
