oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This baby is an asshole
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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