He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
