I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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