Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
