Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
