I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
