if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
