Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Do vagina's smell?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
