another moral hangover. fuck.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
