My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
