Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
