She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
