My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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