she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize