Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
