I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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