worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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