upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
NoShamevember. You game?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Someone signed my nipple.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
