I seem to have left my pride at pride
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
