6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
