Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
