Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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