can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
