I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
