The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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