they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
