Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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