is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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