what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
