I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
