Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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