No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
