you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
