Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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