GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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