Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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