i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
